Apr
1
Broken nose
Filed Under astruc
I apologize for how long it is taking me to come back. I’m trying. I think about Perfect Way all the damned time. I’m a tiny bit shy all of a sudden. Also, I had brief internal drama in which I was considering moving domains, to my real name (did you know I own TastesLikeAss.com? are you jealous?). But after all this time, I am wholly branded as Sara Astruc. As an old advertising slave, I am married to my brand. Nobody knows who the hell I am. But please, if there’s any misconception that I am hiding behind my online handle, I’d like to dispel it.
It wasn’t always true, but as it stands now, there is nothing I would write as Sara that isn’t me talking. And I am all right with all the old stuff I’ve written, as well. The reason the archives are down is because I worked most of them into a book. I have no real intention of seeking out another agent or publisher. The Internet has been kind to me and I think I will do well enough on my own. One of these days I will self-publish the whole damned thing. I haven’t because it makes me terribly sad to revisit those days. It was a charmed life, for a long time. I need to look forward right now.
I was out with Timmy tonight. Maybe I should start calling him Tim now that we’re on either side of 40 years old. He said some interesting things about my parents, and how he remembered them. That back then they seemed older than the other parents (they were, Nan was 30 and David was 40-something when they had me, the eldest), more sophisticated (Nan and David both grew up in the city, as opposed to the small town in which Tim and I were raised), and less pretentious. That was nice to hear.
At my 20th high school reunion, this man approached me. I did remember him, and his name, but that is because I am a writer and I just remember names and faces. Anyway, he re-introduced himself and we reminisced a bit about eighth grade science, and then he told me that that was the year he had broken his nose.
He searched my face for recognition, and then he told me that he had been afraid to come to school because his face looked so bad. And that I had been his partner in science class, and that I had been kind to him. Told him he didn’t look that bad and took his hand and told him it was going to be fine. He said he was glad I was there so he could thank me.
And I got a little choked up, and was proud of my 13-year-old self. And I knew that this had to have been before David died, before I learned how to be so hard.
I think about David sometimes, wondering if he hated the Jews, raising us, as he did, amongst the Catholics. Tim is Catholic. So is Robin. I like Catholics, they feel like home. More so than Jews.
This bothers me on some level.
(Next up, questions and answers. Feel free to ask away.)
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2 Responses to “Broken nose”
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I look like a total Shiksa, goyem(pardon the spelling)and yet,I really like Jews more than Catholics…..go figure?!!!
You’re a better Jew than I am!!! xo